PATRON SAINT OF PROTECHNICIANS, PROJECTILES AND PARANOMASIACS
Brother Maynard was a star-crossed cleric. After his ordination he was assigned to the Barony of Starkhafn in the Kingdom of Caid; a parish with a particularly difficult flock. After many years the long-suffering cleric couldn’t take it any more and decided he needed to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land for some spiritual R&R. Unfortunately rest was not what he found because shortly after he arrived so did a fleet of crusader ships. It seemed that no sooner did he reach a holy shrine that a Crusader army would arrive to lay siege to it. This happened so often that he became considered part of the vanguard of the crusading forces (Manyard is here, THE CRUSADERS ARE COMING!!!). No longer welcome in the Holy Land, he decided to return home but he never made it. The return trip was a series of detours, robberies, pirate attacks and kidnappings and it seems a visit to every major war zone of the period. These misadventures were chronicled by Father Richard the Prior in the “Travail Guide of Saint Maynard”.
Brother Maynard’s final hours are said to have been spent in a city that was besieged by barbarians. He took refuge in one of the cellars and hid himself in a large sturdy barrel. Unfortunately, this cellar was being used for the storage of gunpowder and the barrel he chose to hide in was not completely empty. The city fell and the barbarians set fire to it and poured burning oil into all the cellars to flush out the defenders. When the flames reached Brother Maynard’s barrel he was blown through the roof.
Thus ends the tale of the “Canonization” of Saint Maynard.
Size: 9" X 30"
Story used with permission of Tom Bartanen.